Together as a Community - The Lawrenceville School

The Lawrenceville School community has suffered a great loss.
We are here together, we are here for you.
Forever and for aye.

The Loss of Jack Reid

May 1, 2022

I am profoundly saddened to inform you of the tragic loss of Fourth Form student Jack Reid, who died by suicide in Dickinson House in the late hours of Saturday, April 30. On behalf of the entire Lawrenceville community, I offer sincere condolences to Jack’s family, with whom I am in regular contact. I ask that you please respect the family’s privacy as they face this most challenging time.

In this moment, we will rely on our ability to come together. I realize the impact of this event on our community, especially on the residents of Dickinson House, the track team, and The Lawrentians in particular, where Jack was known and loved – will be there for one another as we process the loss together one day at a time and engage in healthy discussions as a community.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21
The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

Community Response

The Days Ahead

Though we will all process this tragedy in very personal ways, together, we are steadily moving forward. We are engaging our friends, our mentors, our faith, and our memories, and supporting one another to feel all we need to feel.

For our students, we are modifying our academic schedule and expectations; encouraging mindfulness and taking time to gather in Houses and with friends and trusted adults; extending religious services and counsel; and providing psychological counseling and emotional support.

We acknowledge that our global Lawrenceville community, while not physically here with us, remains affected by our communal challenges. We embrace all Lawrentians, near and far, and strive to provide support and guidance we can in difficult times.

First page of the PDF file: TalkingwithYourChildAboutSuicide

First page of the PDF file: TalkingPointsforStudentsandTeachers

First page of the PDF file: BeyondSurviving

First page of the PDF file: HowtoGetHelpatLawrenceville

May 1, 2022

News of a Tragic Loss to the Lawrenceville Community

Dear Lawrenceville Parents, Students, Faculty, and Staff,

Dickinson House students spent the night in our Health and Wellness Center, where I informed them of the situation. Members of our counseling team were there for most of the night with them, and a number of the boys were able to connect with them for support. Faculty gathered this morning to discuss how best to guide our students through this time, an optional meeting for all students was held today at 11 a.m., and the full community will come together tomorrow morning. The Chapel will be open this afternoon, and there are some additional activities available with our Religious Life Council. We are also organizing House meetings for this evening – not required for day students, but they are of course most welcome. A special schedule on Monday will take into account the emotional toll that this event may have on our students.

Counseling services are available (please call (609) 896-0391 or reach out directly to Dr. Tonita Balcom at tbalcom@lawrenceville.org if you have specific concerns about your child) and our spiritual leaders and faculty are present and prepared to support our students. Details will be shared shortly regarding additional emotional and academic support resources, and we will communicate in the coming days about opportunities to remember Jack as a community.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

A Message to Alumni
Resources Related to Tragic Loss

A Message to Alumni

Dear Lawrenceville Alumni,

I am profoundly saddened to inform you of the tragic loss of a student who died by suicide in Dickinson House last night. Our Lawrenceville community is grieving, and we offer our most sincere condolences to the family and those who knew the student.

The School is currently considering how best to acknowledge this tragedy during Alumni Weekend, and we will share additional details shortly. Big Red Giving Day has been postponed.

In this moment, we will rely on our ability to be there for one another as we process the loss together one day at a time and engage in healthy discussions as a community.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

Resources Related to Tragic Loss

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

As we come to the close of the day, we remain in the early stages of processing the tragic loss of Jack. The students have felt the presence of our faculty around campus, and I witnessed many positive interactions today during various reflection and meditation activities throughout the day. Students gathered by House this evening for calm and comfort in the presence of their peers and trusted adults.

As communicated earlier today to students, faculty, and staff, I am writing to share detailed information regarding our planned schedule for Monday, academic expectations, AP exam information, and resources to help you speak with your child in the coming days.

Monday Schedule

Monday morning will be devoted to gathering as a community, and spending time together in the Houses and optional meetings with grief counselors and Religious Life leaders.

In an effort to provide some routine and holding space for students, the two afternoon classes will continue as scheduled. Faculty will be flexible during these class times and responsive to student needs; the time may be used for reflection, discussion, or homework, but not routine academic pursuits.

Specifically:

8 a.m.	Faculty Meeting
8:30 a.m.	All-School Meeting
9:30-11:30 a.m.	House and Advisor Meetings
10:30 - 11:30 a.m.	Group Grief Counseling with the School's Full-Time Psychologists and Open Religious Life Leader Meetings
11:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m.	Lunch with Advisors in their Affiliated Dining Areas
1:40 - 2:25 p.m.	E Period Check-In Time
2:35 - 3:20 p.m.	F Period Check-In Time
3:45 p.m.	Optional Athletic Practices (Check In with Coaches)

Academics

We are mindful of the immediate and extended impact of this tragedy on our community. Some students will crave routine and will want to “get back to business” as soon as possible. For others, it will be a long time before they can fully focus on their academic work. Faculty will be attentive and flexible to student needs, and have received specific direction to scale back on homework and reschedule major assignments.

Students will not be held accountable for homework that was assigned for Monday, May 2.
There will be no homework assigned for Tuesday, May 3.
For the remainder of the week, homework is limited to no more than 30 minutes per night for all classes.
No major assignments are permitted this week.

At this time, our intention is to resume classes on Tuesday, with the above modifications in place for the week, and, again, understanding that students will transition back to academic routines at varying rates. Please know that this may change, as we develop a better understanding of our community’s needs in the next 24 hours.

AP Exam Information

The AP chemistry exam is scheduled for Monday afternoon, with a 12 p.m. start. Students have the option of rescheduling this exam for a later date, and Robyn Campbell in the College Counseling Office will work with those students who need to reschedule. There will be some students who will want to take their APs as scheduled and we will be providing the space and proctoring for them to do that. Later this week, there are other APs on the calendar, and these can also be rescheduled as needed. Robyn Campbell will be reaching out to all students scheduled to take AP exams this week.

Resources

Below are resources to help you speak with your children:

Following are resources that we have provided to our faculty, so you are aware of some of the ways we are engaging.

If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time day or night. Crisis Text Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they dial 741741.

Thank you for your messages of support and care as we face this tragedy together.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

May 2, 2022

Schedule for May 2, 2022
8 a.m.	Faculty Meeting
8:30 a.m.	All-School Meeting
9:30-11:30 a.m.	House and Advisor Meetings
10:30 - 11:30 a.m.	Group Grief Counseling with the School's Full-Time Psychologists and Open Meetings with Religious-Life Leaders
11:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m.	Lunch with Advisors in their Affiliated Dining Areas
1:40 - 2:25 p.m.	E Period Check-In Time
2:35 - 3:20 p.m.	F Period Check-In Time
3:45 p.m.	Optional Athletic Practices and Check-In with Coaches

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

In our continued efforts to come together as a community as we process the tragic loss of Jack, I will provide a daily update this week regarding on-campus happenings and our evolving planning and support structures.

Campus Happenings

The day was marked primarily with community check-ins and flexible spaces for discussion. This morning, our community gathered to support each other and discuss how we will begin to navigate the coming hours, days, and weeks ahead. I began the meeting by sharing a beautiful audio recording of the song “Shenandoah,” sung by The Lawrentians choir, of which Jack was a member.

School Rabbi Lauren Levy described a spontaneous vigil that happened among students last night in front of Dickinson House, then shared four prayerful reflections. Dean of Students Devondra McMillan outlined a general overview of Monday’s schedule, noting that activities were designed as options, and that students should check-in with themselves and each other.

Dr. Tonita Balcom, director of Lawrenceville’s Counseling and Psychological Services, shared her expertise on the complex stages and waves of grief we all experience during a tragedy. Dr. Balcom, who has extensive training in dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, and various trauma-informed and mindfulness-based treatments, reminded Lawrentians to speak up when they or others are not feeling well. “We are resilient,” she said. “We may be feeling weak now, but we will regain our strength.” She reiterated the range of support available today, including 24-hour care in the School Infirmary, individual and small group counseling sessions, Religious Life leader gatherings, open classrooms, and athletic practices.

Yoga and Mindfulness Leader Nina Laubach shared her thoughts on how Lawrenceville can respond together to the unimaginable sadness the community is experiencing. “This is a chance to practice knowing what we do have right here in this room,” she said. “We are all belonging to this moment together, right now.” She led students through mindfulness exercises to observe the presence of students and notice their feelings. “Talk with each other. Tell someone what it is that will help you hold today. Each one of you belongs to this community and this moment,” she said.

It is important to note that there is a palpable warmth and comfort on campus. Most heartening were the impromptu barbecue and soccer match among Second Form students in the Bowl, cheered on by the adults in our community. There were smiles, strong spirits, and camaraderie – despite the somewhat damp weather!

As communicated earlier today to students, faculty, and staff, I am writing to also share detailed information regarding our planned schedule the next few days, academic expectations, AP exam information, and other resources.

Academics and Schedule

We will continue with our modified schedule for Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. At this time, we anticipate slowly adding more classes back into the schedule for Thursday and Friday. Specifically:

Tuesday, May 3

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

10 - 10:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
10:45 - 11:35 a.m.	Check In with D-Period Teachers; Group Grief Counseling Available
11:45 a.m. - 1 p.m.	Lunch
1:10 - 2 p.m.	Check In with A-Period Teachers; Group Grief Counseling Available
2:15 - 3 p.m.	Advisory Meetings
3:30 - 5:30 p.m.	Atheltics

Wednesday, May 4

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

8:30 - 10 a.m.	Faculty Meeting
10 - 10:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
10:45 - 11:35 a.m.	Check In with B-Period Teachers; Group Grief Counseling Available
11:45 a.m. - 12:35 p.m.	Check In with C-Period Teachers; Group Grief Counseling Available
2 - 5 p.m.	Athletics

Faculty are attentive and flexible to student needs, with a continued focus on reducing homework and rescheduling major assignments.

There will be no homework assigned for Tuesday, May 3 and Wednesday, May 4.
Students may check in with their classroom teachers; grief counselors are available during class times as well.
No major assignments are permitted this week.

AP Exam Information

Students who were scheduled to take AP exams this week will be able to take their exams at a later date in May. Mrs. Robyn Campbell in the Office of College Counseling has been in close contact with the College Board to work on solutions for those students who need to reschedule exams.

Activities

Tuesday, May 3

11 a.m.	Therapy Dogs in Bunn Library
3:30 p.m.	Walk to Big Red Farm
6:30 - 7:30 p.m.	Bunn Library Friendship Bracelet-Making in the Bath House
7 - 8 p.m.	Buddhist Meditation in the Chapel with Mr. Jordan

Wednesday, May 4

5:30 - 6:30 p.m.	ECOsplorations Dinner and Dialogue
7 - 8 p.m.	Drum Circle with Emmanuel Agbeli

Resources

We are well into conversations with a number of highly-recommended organizations specializing in grief and trauma to provide supplemental support to our community in a variety of community and small-group settings.

At a Counseling and Psychological Services Open House last week, we shared resources with students about how to seek support, and the related poster below will be increasingly visible throughout campus in the coming days. As a reminder, here are resources to help parents and guardians speak with their children:

Mental Health Is Health and Seize the Awkward

Talking with your child about suicide (PDF attached)

Thank you for your continued support as we move through this tragedy together, one day at a time.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

@lvilleschool

We are resilient. We may be feeling weak now, but we will regain our strength.

This is a chance to practice knowing what we do have here - right here in this room. We all belong to this moment together - right now.

May 3, 2022

Schedule for May 3, 2022 Day students are welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in their Houses.
10 - 10:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
10:45 - 11:35 a.m.	Check In with D-Period Teachers; Group Grief Counseling Available
11 a.m.	Therapy Dogs in Bunn Library
11:45 a.m. - 1 p.m.	Lunch
1:10 - 2 p.m.	Check In with A-Period Teachers; Group Grief Counseling Available
2:15 - 3 p.m.	Advisory Meetings
3:30 p.m.	Group Walk to the Big Red Farm
3:30 - 5:30 p.m.	Athletics
6:30 - 7:30 p.m.	Friendship Bracelet Making in the Bath House
7 - 8 p.m.	Buddhist Meditation in the Chapel with Mr. Jordan

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

I want to start today’s update with a few photos of today’s session with therapy dogs in Bunn Library, where students also made friendship bracelets and worked with henna, and the afternoon walk to Big Red Farm to see some of the spring lambs. We are continuing the important endeavor of processing, trying to meet every student where they are with warmth and care.

Campus Happenings

Students and faculty gathered again this morning, highlighted by a reading by Religion and Philosophy teacher Phil Jordan. Mr. Jordan read from his personal journal to “portray a different time in my life when I didn’t know where to turn.” His wish for students, he said, “is to help you in thinking about your own story and to remember that things can often grow very hard before they are ok.” He talked about how his study of Buddhism guided him through a time of “personal spiritual crisis” and helped him find “a sense of joy and community.” He will lead a Buddhist meditation session for all community members this evening in addition to his usual Thursday morning gathering at 6 a.m.

Dean of Students

Devondra McMillan then reviewed the revised schedule for the next few days, which includes opportunities for meaningful connection, including through the Houses and through our spiritual advisers. Dean McMillan said she hopes that everyone will find “personal touchstones” that bring them comfort and camaraderie. She also reiterated the importance of seeking assistance.

Resources

In addition to the School’s four licensed psychologists, and the many expert resources available to the School as a founding secondary school member of JED Foundation, we recognize the need for additional support structures to enable us to more fully address the needs of our community members.

The first of these such opportunities will take place May 4 and 5 with the New Jersey Traumatic Loss Coalition. This group provides trauma response assistance to schools following losses due to suicide, homicide, accident, and illness. This is an optional offering for students, and parents should notify Dr. Balcom at tbalcom@lawrenceville.org if they prefer their child not engage with these specialists.

A second opportunity will take place on Thursday, May 5, when Director of Programs Joseph Kelly from Peter’s Place will join us on campus. Peter’s Place works with children, families, and communities following a death. More specifically, they have helped to support schools following the death of a student. Mr. Kelly is a licensed professional counselor who earned his bachelor’s degree in psychology and master’s degree in clinical psychology from West Chester University. He will share with interested students a perspective on the grief experience, as well extend an opportunity for continued support.

At a Counseling and Psychological Services Open House last week, we shared resources with students about how to seek support, and the related poster will be increasingly visible throughout campus in the coming days. As a reminder, here are resources to help parents and guardians speak with their children:

These resources, as well as all recent communications, can be found on the Parent and Information tab in Veracross.

Academics

For the remainder of the spring term, beginning on Monday May 9, the School is pivoting to a daily schedule similar to the one we adopted upon our return to campus in the fall of 2020. With fewer classes during the school day, we are preserving both time and mental bandwidth for individual and community healing. Students may also choose to do their schoolwork during daylight hours, leaving evenings more available for restoration and relationship building. The school day will begin and end at the same times as our “regular” schedule, and athletics and other co-curriculars will continue to meet in the afternoons.

Click here for a PDF of the schedule.

Information regarding important changes to our grading for the remainder of the term will be provided in tomorrow’s daily update.

Final Exams

Final exams for II-IV Formers will occur as scheduled. Because of the truncated class schedule, teachers may assign only one major assessment in May in addition to the final.

AP Exams

Students who were scheduled to take AP exams this week will be able to take their exams at a later date in May. Robyn Campbell in the Office of College Counseling has been in close contact with the College Board to work on solutions for those students who need to reschedule exams.

Schedule and Activities

Wednesday, May 4

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

8:30-9:50 a.m.	Faculty Meeting
10:00-10:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
10:45-11:35 a.m.	Check In with B-Period Teachers; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center; Bunn Library Open to Students
11:45 a.m.-12:35 p.m.	Check In with C-Period Teachers; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center; Bunn Library Open to Students
12:30-1:30 p.m.	Lunch
1-2 p.m.	Therapy Dogs in the Bunn Library
2-4 p.m.	Wellness Wednesday in Bunn Library
2-5 p.m.	Athletics
5:30 p.m.	ECOsplorations Dinner and Dialogue
6:30 p.m.	Taoist Evening Nature Walk
6:30-8 p.m.	KAC Lounge Open, with Food and Gratitude Cards Available
7 p.m.	Drum Circle

Thursday, May 5

(30 minutes of homework per class; no major assessments)

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

6 a.m.	Buddhist Meditation Exploration
8 a.m.	Episcopal Holy Communion Exploration
9-9:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
9:45-10:35 a.m.	A Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
10:45-11:35 a.m.	C Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
11:45 a.m-1 p.m.	Lunch
1:15-2:05 p.m.	B Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
2:15-3:15 p.m.	All-Student Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
3:30-4:30 p.m.	Optional Faculty and Staff Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
6:30-7:30 p.m.	Optional Faculty and Staff Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
6:30-8 p.m.	KAC Lounge Open with Food and Gratitude Cards Available
7 p.m.	Yoga and Meditation
7 p.m.	Self-Care Crafts in Bunn Library
7 p.m.	Visiting Poet, Ross Gay (Zoom)

Friday, May 6

(30 minutes of homework per class; no major assessments)

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

9-10 a.m.	Community Meeting/Smeeting
10:10-11 a.m.	E Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
11:10 a.m-12 p.m.	F Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
12-1:15 p.m.	Lunch
1:30-2:20 p.m.	D Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
2:15-3:15 p.m.	Consultation/Programming TBD
3:30-5:30 p.m.	Athletics
7 p.m.	Lantern lighting

Thank you for your continued support as we move through this tragedy together, one day at a time.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

@lvilleschool

Remember that things can often grow very hard before they are ok.

Student Activities

May 4, 2022

Schedule for May 4, 2022 Day students are welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in their Houses.
8:30 - 9:50 a.m.	Faculty Meeting
10:00 - 10:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
10:45 - 11:35 a.m.	Check In with B-Period Teachers; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center; Bunn Library Open to Students
11:45 a.m. - 12:35 p.m.	Check In with C-Period Teachers; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center; Bunn Library Open to Students
12:35 - 1:30 p.m.	Lunch
1 - 2 p.m.	Therapy Dogs in the Bunn Library
2 - 4 p.m.	Wellness Wednesday in Bunn Library
2 - 5 p.m.	Athletics
5:30 p.m.	ECOsplorations Dinner and Dialogue
6:30 p.m.	Taoist Evening Nature Walk
6:30 - 8 p.m.	KAC Lounge Open with Food and Gratitude Cards Available
7 p.m.	Drum Circle

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

I want to open today’s letter with remarks made by Director of Equity and Inclusion and Religion and Philosophy teacher Nuri Friedlander during School Meeting, as they help illustrate the range of emotions present in our community and the continued need to meet each individual where they are. During the "Words of Wisdom" portion of the meeting, Dr. Friedlander spoke of his conflicted emotions on Monday, the Eid celebration that marks the end of Ramadan when many Muslims fast from dawn to sunset for a month. It is a joyful time to acknowledge the many blessings we have been given. This Eid, he said, was a challenge because he was not in the mood to be happy or to be surrounded by joyful people.

"But I attended prayers in Princeton, because that’s what I do. And I saw friends I haven’t seen in a long time, and I was happy. And in my happiness I recognized that I was also still sad. The joy did not erase the sadness as I feared it might, and the sadness did not entirely prevent me from feeling joy. The human heart is indeed vast and capacious and able to contain so much at any given moment," he explained.

As we look for ways and places to find peace, Dr. Friedlander said, "Within each one of us we carry all that we require to be everything that we are … We are, each and every one of us, enough, and if ever we come to doubt that truth, we can turn towards each other and, in the intimate connections we share, remember who we truly are and where we have been."

Campus Happenings

The activities are reflective (journaling, creative writing, expressions of gratitude), meditative (yoga, nature walks, Buddhist meditation), and tactile (coloring, bracelet-making, painting, and crafting). Several locations on campus have extended hours to accommodate small gatherings, and the Hutchins Galleries, with art selected by our new curator Ms. Guarino, have opened a week early to provide an additional space for introspection and relaxation.

This weekend the School will be holding the annual St. Baldrick’s fundraising event benefiting pediatric cancer research. The typical faculty-student basketball game has been reconceived to respond to the moment, with a series of musical offerings, poetry readings, and student reflections. On Sunday afternoon, the boys in Kinnan House will hold a picnic on the Flagpole Green in place of their annual dance.

Resources

Today, the New Jersey Traumatic Loss Coalition was on campus for the first of two days of support for our students. Director of Programs Joseph Kelly from Peter’s Place will visit campus tomorrow for a student meeting as well as optional open sessions for faculty. We are looking at longer-term opportunities to engage our community more fully and will have more to share shortly.

Our Counseling and Psychological Services team is continuing efforts to be visible in the community, visiting classrooms, standing along the sidelines at athletic practices, and being present in the Houses. It is our hope that sustained efforts will contribute to our overall goal of normalizing help-seeking behaviors.

Schedule and Activities

Thursday, May 5

(30 minutes of homework per class; no major assessments)

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

6 a.m.	Buddhist Meditation Exploration
8 a.m.	Episcopal Holy Communion Exploration
9-9:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
9:45-10:35 a.m.	A Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
10:45-11:35 a.m.	C Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
11:45 a.m.-1 p.m.	Lunch
1:15-2:05 p.m.	B Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
2:15-3:15 p.m.	Student Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
3:30-4:30 p.m.	Optional Faculty Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
6:30-7:30 p.m.	Optional Faculty Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
6:30-8 p.m.	KAC Lounge Open with Food and Gratitude Cards Available
7 p.m.	Yoga and Meditation
7 p.m.	Self-Care Crafts in Bunn Library
7 p.m.	Visiting poet, Ross Gay (Zoom)

Friday, May 6

(30 minutes of homework per class; no major assessments)

(Day students welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in houses)

9-10 a.m.	Community Meeting/Smeeting
10:10-11 a.m.	E Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
11:10-12 p.m.	F Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
12-1:15 p.m.	Lunch
1:30-2:20 p.m.	D Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
2:15-3:15 p.m.	Consultation/Programming TBD
3:30-5:30 p.m.	Athletics
7 p.m.	Lantern Lighting

Our community is continuing to come together through this tragedy, each member at their own pace and in their own way. I remain grateful for your support.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

Joy did not erase the sadness as I feared it might, and the sadness did not entirely prevent me from feeling joy. The human heart is indeed vast and capacious and able to contain so much at any given moment.

We are, each and every one of us, enough, and if ever we come to doubt that truth, we can turn towards each other and, in the intimate connections we share, remember who we truly are and where we have been.

May 5, 2022

Schedule for May 5, 2022 30 minutes of homework per class; no major assessments. Day students are welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in their Houses.
6 a.m.	Buddhist Meditation Exploration
8 a.m.	Episcopal Holy Communion Exploration
9 - 9:30 a.m.	Community Meeting
9:45 - 10:35 a.m.	A Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
10:45 - 11:35 a.m.	C Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
11:45 a.m. - 1 p.m.	Lunch
1:15 - 2:05 p.m.	B Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
2:15 - 3:15 p.m.	All-Student Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
3:30 - 4:30 p.m.	Optional Faculty and Staff Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
6:30 - 7:30 p.m.	Optional Faculty and Staff Meeting with Director of Peter's Place Grief Support
6:30 - 8 p.m.	KAC Lounge Open with Food and Gratitude Cards Available
7 p.m.	Yoga and Meditation; Self-Care Crafts in Bunn Library; Visiting Poet, Ross Gary (Zoom)

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

As we begin to more carefully consider ways in which our community can come together in a celebration and remembrance of Jack, my heart has been warmed by the impromptu tributes to him throughout campus – flowers outside Dickinson, notes on whiteboards, and online messages of appreciation of his contributions to the Lawrenceville community as a friend, teammate, and student. Bunn Library is providing time and space for students to write notes of love and support to the Reid family, which will be delivered by the School. We are also collecting notes from parents who would like to write to the family; please address them to the attention of the Head of School Office.

Today’s update has important details on upcoming opportunities to more formally recognize Jack, and we will be communicating these to students shortly. We have also implemented important changes to grading for the remainder of the term, hosted focused counseling sessions, and benefited from today’s "Words of Wisdom" at School meeting. Please read on for details.

May 6 – Lantern Lighting

On the evening of Friday, May 6 (with a rain date of Sunday), Dickinson House boys will hold a floating lantern-lighting event at the pond. One of the Prefects of the House explained that in Korean culture, lanterns are released in order to honor deceased loved ones, and the boys from Dickinson felt this would be a fitting tribute to their friend. Each lantern will include a private message to Jack.

May 7 - Funeral Service

On Saturday, May 7, Bill and Elizabeth Reid will hold a funeral service which will be open to students, parents, faculty, and staff. A sign-up form for bus transportation to the service will be sent to campus community members later this evening.

May 15 - School Remembrance

On Sunday, May 15, at 5 p.m., the School will remember Jack with a formal service in the Chapel for students, faculty, and staff. A live stream link will be available for off-campus members of the community. Additional information will be shared shortly.

Academics

After continued and careful consideration of the School’s academic scheduling and requirements, we will be taking a modified approach to learning and assessment for the remainder of the term that will allow our students to demonstrate that they have developed the skills and content essential to continue study in our disciplines, and will enable us to generate a transcript they can present to future academic institutions.

We believe that it is important to continue with classes and offer some familiar routines, while acknowledging that many within our community are not ready to “go back to normal.” To that end:

We have instituted a new daily and weekly schedule that should allow for more time and space for individual and community healing and reflection. There will be three class blocks per day, and classes will meet three times per week. The class periods themselves are slightly longer, but we are not increasing the homework time between classes. There will still be an exam week, and teachers are in the process of determining what their final assessments will look like in these changed circumstances. Please click here to see the schedule.

We have also made the decision to move to a growth-focused grading system for the remaining weeks of the spring.

Teachers will take the term grade that students were earning as of Saturday, April 30, as the "baseline," the lowest cumulative grade they may earn for the term.
All work completed after April 30 may raise this baseline grade, but not lower it. The grade for the term is either the baseline grade or the term end grade - whichever is higher.
Students must complete required assessments in good faith. Otherwise, students risk forfeiting course credit.
Even with this shift in our grading policy, we realize that some students may struggle to complete major assignments teachers deem essential for a course credit. In that event, students will be assigned an "Incomplete," and the Dean of Academics Office will work with those students on a case-by-case basis to develop a plan to complete outstanding assignments.

Please direct questions regarding the schedule or the growth-focused grading policy to Dean of Academics Alison Easterling P'20 at aeasterling@lawrenceville.org.

Resources

Counselors from Peter’s Place continued their engagement on campus today. Additionally, PJ Wenger from the New Jersey Traumatic Loss Coalition met today during dedicated sessions with the Dickinson House, the track team and The Lawrentians, two groups in which Jack was involved, known, and loved. PJ has 29 years of experience working in the field of mental health in a variety of settings, including psychiatric emergency, inpatient treatment with both adults and children, in-home counseling for mental health issues, residential treatment, schools, and private practice. She has been a trauma responder at the local, state and national level to events including 9/11 and Hurricane Sandy, as well as traumatic events that impact school communities.

We continue to be in contact with external experts and consultants, including Drs. Francis Lee and Elena Lister of Weill Cornell Medicine in New York, as well as Dr. David Shonfeld, director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. Our conversations have confirmed that additional resources are likely important and necessary, but that the School should be deliberate and cautious in its approach to bringing in outside experts who can sometimes subtly and inadvertently undermine the teachers and counseling staff, who are the ones our students know and trust through pre-established relationships.

Campus Happenings

Our "Words of Wisdom" at today’s School meeting came from Zaheer Ali, executive director of Lawrenceville’s Hutchins Center for Social Justice. Mr. Ali addressed how we might recover from "ruptures in our timeline," asking: how can we find and embrace new ways of being in community after a traumatic event? He suggested we look to Gwendolyn Brooks' poem, "Speech to the Young":

Say to them,

say to the down-keepers,

the sun-slappers,

the self-soilers,

the harmony-hushers,

"Even if you are not ready for day

it cannot always be night."

You will be right.

For that is the hard home-run.

Live not for battles won.

Live not for the-end-of-the-song.

Live in the along.

Schedule and Activities

Today and tomorrow, Guggenheim-winning poet and essayist Ross Gay is providing students with tools for joy and refection. He is holding writing workshops in our English classes and will conduct a reading of his own work this evening.

Thursday, May 5

6 a.m. Buddhist Meditation

8:30 a.m. Episcopal Holy Communion

5-6 p.m. Therapy Dogs

6-7 p.m. Open Paint

6:30 p.m. Taoist Evening Nature Walk

7 p.m. Yoga and Meditation

7 p.m. Visiting Poet Ross Gay

Friday, May 6

4 p.m. Self-Care Crafts in Bunn Library, Including Sugar Scrub-Making

6-8 p.m. Blanket-Making with Colin’s Kids Club

6:30 p.m. Henna Art

7 p.m. Lantern Lighting (Rain Date Sunday)

Saturday, May 7

8 p.m. St. Baldrick’s Event Music, readings, and refreshments to support the St. Baldrick’s

Foundation, with donations to support pediatric cancer research.

We will continue to be there for one another in the coming days and weeks, and I appreciate your support of your child and of our community.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

@lvilleschool

May 6, 2022

Schedule for May 6, 2022 30 minutes of homework per class; no major assessments. Day students are welcome to arrive earlier for breakfast and to spend time in their Houses.
9 - 10 a.m.	Community Meeting / Smeeting
10:10 - 11 a.m.	E Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
11:10 a.m. - 12 p.m.	F Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
12 - 1:15 p.m.	Lunch
1:30 - 2:20 p.m.	D Period; Drop-In Counseling at Al-Rashid Health Center
2:20 - 3:15 p.m.	Consultation
3:30 - 5:30 p.m.	Athletics
4 p.m.	Self-Care Crafts in Bunn Library
6 - 8 p.m.	Blanket-Making with Colin's Kids Club
6:30 p.m.	Henna Art
7 p.m.	Lantern Lighting (Rain Date: Sunday)

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

In the past few days, our community has come together in many ways. We’ve addressed our grief through counseling; we’ve expressed our love and gratitude through creation and affirmation; we’ve taken time to heal ourselves and each other.

I have received many messages from members of our extended Lawrenceville community – graciously sharing their experiences, expressing their heartache, and offering their support. It is clear that Jack’s passing has affected the Lawrenceville community deeply. I hope that this impact, in time, will manifest in each of us as the goodness and light that Jack radiated.

Tomorrow, Jack’s family will hold a funeral service, which a number of our community members will attend. We will continue to celebrate Jack’s life here on campus and spend time healing, and also, little by little, re-find our routines as we move forward together. Monday, May 9, will mark a return to fairly normal academic rhythms and expectations, with some of the gentle modifications discussed in yesterday’s update.

Please also look for updates in this letter regarding an optional parent support session on Monday, May 9, at 7 p.m. with Dr. Elena Lister of Columbia University. My next update will come on Monday, after what will undoubtedly be a very emotional weekend for all of us in the Lawrenceville community.

Upcoming Services for Jack

May 7 - Funeral Service and Reception

I was deeply moved upon receiving this pastoral notice announcing Jack's service early this morning from his father, Bill. As you may know, Jack's mother and father spent time on campus Wednesday, and we met at length in my office. While the depth of their grief is impossible to convey with words, they also exhibited tremendous courage.

Bill and Elizabeth Reid will hold a funeral service at 11 a.m. at the Episcopal Church of the Heavenly Rest at 1085 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10128. For those unable to attend, the service will be live streamed.

A reception in honor of Jack will follow immediately after the service at the nearby Spence School, starting about noon until 2 p.m. The Spence School is located at 22 East 91st Street (between Madison Ave & Fifth Avenue). Due to blocked street access, pickup/drop off is suggested on 91st and Madison or Fifth Avenue. Attendees are asked to enter at the red doors.

Both the service and the reception are open to all. The School has special support offerings in place for Dickinson House boys upon their return to campus.

May 9 – Lantern Lighting

Due to the forecasted rain, the lantern lighting will be held at the Pond on Monday, May 9. Students will gather to write private messages to Jack, if they feel so inclined, to be released inside the lanterns at sunset. This promises to be a powerful moment for our community.

May 15 - School Remembrance

On Sunday, May 15 at 5 p.m., the School will remember Jack with a formal service in the Chapel for students, faculty, and staff. A live stream link will be available for off-campus members of the community. Additional information will be shared shortly.

Resources - Parent Session

The School is extending its support efforts beyond campus to you — our parents. We realize you are grieving, too, and that you may need professional guidance on supporting your children. On Monday, May 9 from 7-7:45 p.m., Dr. Elena Lister, introduced by Dr. Tonita Balcom, will conduct a webinar on Zoom.

Dr. Lister is clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College and lecturer in psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. She is a senior consulting analyst for grief and loss. You can read more about Dr. Lister here >

Activities

We have been keeping you apprised of the reflective, meditative, and tactile activities available to the students this week. Please continue to visit photo galleries on Flickr and @lvilleschool on Instagram for glimpses of our students engaged in these opportunities for connection.

Friday, May 6

4 p.m. Self-Care Crafts in Bunn Library

6-8 p.m. Blanket-Making with Colin’s Kids Club

6:30 p.m. Henna Art

7 p.m. Lantern Lighting (rain date Monday, May 9)

Saturday, May 7

8 p.m. St. Baldrick’s Event

Music, readings, and refreshments to support the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, with donations to support pediatric cancer research.

Sunday, May 8

Kinnan Kick-back

Lawn games, barbeque, and other activities open to all students.

We will continue to be there for one another in the coming days and weeks, and I appreciate your support of your child and of our community.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

May 9, 2022

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

On campus, even as we continue to grieve, we are reintroducing the healthy rhythms and academic routines that so many of our students need. I also write to you today with an emerging hope. At the funeral service for Jack on Saturday, some of the light that has been partially overshadowed by our collective feelings of sadness and loss began to shine through.

Standing among mourners, including more than 60 Lawrenceville community members – only an intimation of the many lives Jack touched – I heard messages of peace, of gratitude, and of grace during a series of beautiful readings. In a time mired by heartache, I was reminded that Jack’s life, simply, was a gift to us — to everyone — and that his love for his family and community will never be lost.

As we continue to celebrate Jack’s life — during this week’s Lantern Lighting and School Remembrance — I hope that we will hold his reflection in ourselves. Echoing the chorus from one of the hymns from the service on Saturday, … grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love with all my soul. In the wake of our loss, I will continue in this spirit.

Please read on for details on the planned remembrances, and a reimagination of Community Day.

Wednesday, May 11: Lantern Lighting

This event has been rescheduled to Wednesday. Students will gather at the Pond to write private messages to Jack to be released inside the lanterns at sunset.

Sunday, May 15: School Remembrance

On Sunday, May 15 at 5 p.m., the School will remember Jack with a formal service in the Chapel for students, faculty, and staff. A live stream link will be provided to off-campus community members later this week.

Community Day

Our annual Community Day, scheduled for Wednesday, May 11, will center on "Healing in Community" as we continue our communal grieving process. Dr. Tonita Balcom and members of the Psychological and Counseling Services team will present the keynote: "Coping with Grief and Moving Towards Healing." Students will engage in self-care activities in the following tracks: arts, movement, reflection and mindfulness, nature, service, education, and cooking. The programming will conclude with a community barbeque.

Academic Schedule

Today marks the return of important elements of our academic routine, while continuing to acknowledge that many within our community are not ready to "go back to normal.” As a reminder, we have instituted a new daily and weekly schedule that allows for more time and space for individual and community healing and reflection: three class blocks per day, and classes will meet three times per week.

You may also recall that the School is moving toward a growth-focused grading system for the remaining weeks of the spring, in which faculty will take the term grade that students were earning as of Saturday, April 30 as the "baseline:" the lowest cumulative grade they may earn for the term. All work completed after April 30 may raise this baseline grade, but not lower it. The grade for the term is either the baseline grade or the term end grade – whichever is higher. Students must complete required assessments in good faith.

This modified approach to learning and assessment for the remainder of the term will allow our students to demonstrate that they have developed the skills necessary to advance in our curriculum, while enabling us to generate a transcript they can present to future academic institutions.

The Big Red Bulletin will return to publication this week, highlighting campus happenings and announcements, and I will be in touch on Thursday as our community continues to come together, to be together, to heal together.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

May 13, 2022

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

There is a notably renewed energy on campus this week as we continued the steady and deliberate reintroduction of healthy rhythms and academic routines. On Monday, students heard from landscape architect Dequan Spencer of SCAPE design studio in New York, who spoke on urban design for climate resilience as well as on career pathways in landscape architecture for underrepresented communities. Stuart Robertson '11 H’18, Lawrenceville’s artist-in-residence, opened “A Portrait of the Artist as a Living System” in the Hutchins Galleries. His work will be on display through June 3 and represents the School’s welcome return to hosting public art exhibits and receptions, which had been put on hold during the pandemic. Big Red athletics is finishing up the spring season, competing for championships at both the MAPL and state levels. On Tuesday, both the boys' and girls' track squads won their respective NJISAA Prep A titles.

More than 800 alumni returned to campus over the weekend for the first Alumni Weekend since 2019; the three-year hiatus made this reunion all the more meaningful for our graduates, young and old, who came to reconnect with campus and celebrate their enduring Lawrenceville friendships. Despite the rain and heavy wind, there were uplifting gatherings across campus, including during the time-honored tradition of inducting Fifth Form students into Lawrenceville’s Alumni Association. Jack was poignantly recognized in various moments, including in one of the most moving elements of each Alumni Weekend, the Service of Remembrance. Indeed, the loss of Jack is felt profoundly among Lawrentians of every age and House, and has prompted important reflections and discussions as an extended community.

The lantern lighting on Wednesday evening, in honor of Jack and hosted on behalf of Dickinson House by the Pan Asian Alliance, was a powerful tribute. Many of our students gathered with their lanterns and messages to Jack, and at sunset the lanterns were lit and released onto the pond, symbolizing the guiding of soul and spirit. It was a moment of quiet and embrace, of collective peace. I invite you to watch this beautiful video of the event, produced by L10.

Students, faculty, and staff will come together in a final farewell to Jack on Sunday, May 15 at 5 p.m. in the Chapel, where our School chaplain, the Rev. Sue Anne Steffey Morrow H'12, will lead the community through hymns and prayers, readings and remembrances. The Lawrentians will fill the Chapel — and our hearts and souls — with stirring sound. Community members are encouraged to wear vibrant colors and patterns, representing the light and joy that Jack brought to those around him. Parents are invited to join via live stream, and Kirby Arts Center will be open for overflow viewing.

I want to add here too that part of our commitment to Jack’s memory is reckoning with what occurred and seeking a more complete understanding. Yesterday you received the letter from Jon Weiss '75, president of the Board of Trustees. His letter to our parent body outlines the Board's commitment to a careful, independent investigation of these tragic circumstances. Since Monday, May 2, I have been in careful conversation with the leadership of the Board, who have shared from the start the same urgency I feel to get to the truth as best we can. We will continue to report on this, as we are able, in the weeks to come.

Finally, I realize that parents are continuing their own grieving process, and that being away from your child during a time of such sadness and loss can be extremely challenging. Finding the words can be difficult. Knowing how to provide support isn’t always clear. If you were unable to join Dr. Elena Lister’s parent support session on Monday evening, I encourage you to view the recording. Dr. Lister is a senior consulting analyst for grief and loss, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, and a lecturer in psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Her warm, calm demeanor and considerable expertise were readily apparent and comforting. You can find the recording on the Parent Information & Resources tab on the Veracross parent portal along with related information, including a direct link to Psychological and Counseling Services staff listing and bios in the School directory.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21

The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

May 20, 2022

Dear Lawrenceville Parents and Guardians,

There have been a number of meaningful moments in the past three weeks where we have been able to find comfort in being together, and where we have had time to reflect upon and recall memories of Jack, "spirited, empathic, and resilient," as his father has described him. We gathered in the Chapel on Sunday to remember Jack and to give thanks for his good-hearted friendship and presence in our school community. At the service, I reminded the community that as we encounter adversity, we also develop our own strength and resilience. Our strength as a community is not only revealed but sometimes reinforced in our times of sorrow, and that has been part of our experience over the past three weeks. "So we will move forward," I concluded, "we will feel grief for our friend Jack; and just as important, we will find comfort and solace, and even joy, in our belonging together."

As we tend to our community, our Dickinson boys continue to receive specialized support, with presence from both on-campus counselors and an external grief counseling expert. Opportunities to process as a community remain front and center as we look to help our students find fulfillment and success in these concluding weeks of the term.

There have been many signs this week that, as a community, we are moving steadily toward healing and reclaiming the joy of simple pleasures. There is laughter in House common rooms, impromptu games of Spikeball on the Circle, and tonight’s Kirby Music Festival promises to bring us together in movement and melody. Thornton’s Wilder’s Our Town graced the stage last weekend before a packed house, the Run for Color benefiting the Williams Syndrome Association reminded us of the good that can be done when we come together, and our Holi celebration generated an exuberance that is hard to measure. In little more than a week we will celebrate the many achievements of Class of 2022, and we look forward to many special moments with our Fifth Form families.

Despite these positive signals, we realize that some members of our community remain deeply impacted by the tragic loss of a classmate and our support efforts continue in earnest. As communicated by Dean of Academics Alison Easterling earlier this week, the School has made additional adjustments to academic expectations and final assessments, prioritizing student wellbeing and providing flexibility for families who may wish to be together during this time.

We also understand that parents may have additional questions as their children prepare to return home and leave the care of our counseling staff and faculty for the summer months. You may be wondering how to approach these conversations, how to identify signs of distress, and what to do if your child needs support. Please look for additional details shortly regarding a follow-up parent support session before the close of the academic year – both to help you process your own grief, and to help empower you to support your child. In the meantime, and throughout the summer months, please continue to refer to the Parent Information & Resources tab on the parent portal for resources, including a recording of Dr. Lister’s parent support session, a guide on how to speak with your child about loss and suicide, a link to contact information and bios for our Psychological and Counseling Services team, tips from The Jed Foundation, and more.

Sincerely,

Stephen S. Murray H’54 ’55 ’65 ’16 P’16 ’21
The Shelby Cullom Davis ’26 Head of School

@lvilleschool

Campus Well-Being Initiatives

Lawrenceville is committed to promoting a healthy, positive campus culture that supports the well-being of all community members. In addition to longstanding measures to help cultivate wellness and belonging, we have instituted several initiatives in direct response to community feedback and to shifting adolescent needs over the past year.

Adopting a Systems Approach to Community Well-Being

Dean of Campus Well-Being

To create a comprehensive and inclusive strategy for enhancing student wellbeing, we have formed a Wellness Team comprising three experienced leaders who will work together to promote our students' physical and mental health. This team consists of the Dean of Campus Wellbeing, the Dean of Students, and the Medical Director. By leveraging their unique expertise and perspectives, this team will spearhead a range of initiatives to foster wellness within our community. Regular meetings of the Wellness Team will ensure that these efforts are proactive and tailored to the specific needs of our students, enabling them to thrive and achieve their full potential.

The search for our Dean of Campus Well-Being is well underway, and we have employed a top-tier recruitment agency to conduct a national search aimed at hiring a true leader in the field of public health.

Community Vision of Wellness

To support the work of the new Dean of Campus Well-Being and to create broad buy-in, we are actively crafting a vision for community health and wellness that articulates in clear and specific terms our collective goals as a community in this area.

We held active visioning workshops with groups of faculty, staff, students, and parents in spring 2023.

This expansive approach to our vision means understanding that wellness involves not just counseling, but ensuring that there are strong programs in place to prevent bullying, sexual assault, harassment, and discrimination. It involves mindfulness and religious explorations, exercise, sleep and multiple other factors, including potential limits on cell phone and social media usage.

Preventing Bullying by Teaching Compassion, Courage, Respect, and Trust

Many of us are painfully and personally familiar with the sometimes mean behavior of adolescents in all schools and the challenges of addressing it. Bullying has long been an explicit major rule violation at Lawrenceville for which students are disciplined.

Defining Bullying

Revised Definition of Bullying in the Student Handbook:

Our code of conduct, however, previously did not include a full definition of bullying and limited the scope of student bullying (following the statutory standard for the state of New Jersey) to actions that are perceived as being motivated by any actual or perceived characteristic, such as race, color, religion. We have now removed that limitation and added a more complete description:

Bullying typically involves aggressive conduct by a student (the "aggressor") that leads another student reasonably to believe that the aggressor is motivated by a desire to physically or emotionally hurt them or someone else. The conduct usually is one-sided, meaning it doesn’t include behavior that occurs during a conflict where students are mutually involved in some type of disagreement. Bullying can occur in different ways; it can be direct (face-to-face) or indirect (behind someone’s back). It can be verbal, physical, or psychological, e.g., purposefully excluding people from activities and breaking up friendships or other relationships, or electronic, e.g., using the internet, mobile phone, or other electronic equipment to intentionally harm others.

Discipline and Dismissal

New Protocol Added to Student Handbook Regarding the Dismissal of a Student:

For the 2022-23 school year, the School added a new protocol to its Student Handbook to address the supervision of students who have been dismissed but have not yet left campus. The Handbook now provides that "[i]t is the School's practice to require students who have received a notice of dismissal to reside in the infirmary and to remain under adult supervision until they are able to depart campus. Current students are expected to respect these restrictions. The School appreciates that current students may wish to say 'goodbye' to a dismissed student; current students may request permission for this from the Dean of Students. Students who have been dismissed from School or who have withdrawn with discipline pending may not return to campus or take part in School-sponsored events unless they secure advance written permission from the Dean of Students."

Connections with Trusted Adults

In order to build student connections to trusted adults on campus in a more purposeful way, we have added resources to strengthen advising on campus, enhancing guidance for advisors to help ensure weekly advisory meetings build trust, skills, and competence on social and emotional learning objectives. In the fall, Lawrenceville began using Wayfinder, a set of tools and activities that promote student growth and social-emotional learning, to alert prefects to signs of bullying, and to implement more structured communication between prefects and House supervisors. Faculty have been trained and in the winter, the School rolled out weekly check-ins with students using the Waypoint system, as an additional, automated way for advisors to check in with their advisees.

Lawrenceville is a school that uses the "triple threat" model for the faculty. Teachers get to know students in multiple dimensions of their lives at School, not only in the classroom, but on the sports field and in their residence. Dean of Faculty Emilie Kosoff is actively exploring ways to maintain this multi-dimensional approach to building relationships, while easing the pace of life for teachers so that they can more easily engage with students.

Responding to Allegations of Bullying

As we work to implement a rigorous anti-bullying protocol, for which we have called upon expert input and welcome additional expertise, we have put in place an informal protocol where all allegations of potential bullying behavior are reviewed by a team of teachers, Heads of House, and advisors, as well as senior administrators, including, depending on the allegation, the Dean of Students, Director of Counseling, Dean of Diversity, Inclusion and Community Engagement, and the General Counsel/Director of Risk Management. The protocol includes prompt parental notification. Head of School Steve Murray personally reviews these allegations to ensure that they are being investigated expeditiously, that support is being provided to the student(s) involved, and that appropriate disciplinary or other remedial actions are being taken.

Fostering Positive Student Interactions

Discipline alone, however, is not a sufficient means to deter or prevent bullying. Accordingly, the School has employed other methods for encouraging students to treat each other with respect and to intervene and report inappropriate conduct or bullying without fear of reprisal.

With our entire school assembled at our opening School Convocation in the fall of 2022, Head of School Murray asked our students to make a verbal pledge, which he wrote, to conduct themselves with integrity, compassion, and kindness: "In becoming a Lawrentian, I join generations before me who have led lives of personal honor, respect, and compassion. As a Lawrentian, I hereby pledge to conduct my affairs with integrity, take responsibility for my actions, and defend those less able to defend themselves."

The School is prepared to help fund research examining anti-bullying practices and the connection between bullying, mental health, and depression. We would choose an organization such as the JED Foundation, and then share this research freely with other schools.

In April 2023, the Dean of Students Office hosted a parent and student session with the nonprofit organization Social Awakening on the topic of digital citizenship education as part of a concerted effort to provide education around positive social media use.

We launched a Restorative Justice initiative this year that promotes and builds community and trust when instances of harm have occurred. The School hosted open training for faculty and staff in the fall and then again in February, and we are planning further training and involvement for students in the near term. Head of School Murray participated in the training, which he said he found to be "tremendously impactful in encouraging a healthy and inclusive culture." One of the key elements of Restorative Justice is Circle Practice, where people come together in a circle to discuss issues such as harmful behavior and think intentionally about how to live in the community with one another.

Supporting Students through Counseling and Psychological Services

The School arranged for an external review by the American College Health Association's Health and Wellness Consulting. The review included assessing the mental health services and programs being provided at Lawrenceville and making recommendations on how we can better meet the mental health needs of its students. The School is in the process of implementing their recommendations.

The School has four psychologists on staff. Our data shows that the majority of our students, at one time or another during their time at Lawrenceville, seek support through our counseling services. We are in the process of adding additional counseling support.

Since last April, the Office of Counseling Psychological Services has worked to increase its profile on campus and to reduce the stigma that students often feel when seeking mental health counseling. They have held open house sessions for students to meet the counselors, and we have had speakers in our weekly School Meeting discussing issues such as coping and resilience.

Related to this effort to normalize the seeking of therapeutic solutions to stress and anxiety are our Wellness Wednesdays, a program launched this past fall, which included a dedicated space with a variety of calming activities, including music, aromatherapy, board games, art supplies, and visits from therapy dogs.

On April 12, 2023, the School hosted Community Wellness Day to engage the full campus community in a holistic approach to well-being. We are partnering with local providers to offer workshops and sessions that appeal to the varying needs of our campus community, including tips to improve sleep, nutrition, and time management, as well as an assortment of stress-reduction activities to enhance physical and mental well-being.

The School has an academic support office, headed by a licensed psychologist, with four full-time employees in addition to part-time specialists. These professionals work with students on time management, stress management, and executive function. Since last spring, we have added staffing to this area of student support.

Identifying and Supporting At-Risk Students

An essential part of any wellness program involves identifying and supporting students who are undergoing academic, mental health, or other challenges. Last spring, to help ensure a holistic look at student well-being, our Deans group and Health and Wellness staff established a weekly meeting to ensure even closer coordination. This “Deans and Docs” group includes our Dean of Students, Dean of Academics, and Dean of Diversity, Inclusion, and Community Engagement as well as our Medical Director, Director of Counseling, and Director of Educational Support.

This past fall, the School engaged Dr. Ellen Utley of the JED Foundation, a leading non-profit organization that focuses on protecting the emotional health of adolescents and preventing suicide, to provide training for faculty on current trends of mental health in young people; the teacher’s role as a help giver; how to identify a young person in distress; non-suicidal self-injurious behavior; strategies to engage with teens; modeling behavior as adults; and creating supportive classroom environments.

In early February, Dr. Elena Lister, a psychiatrist and bereavement expert at Weill Cornell Medical College, offered a workshop for our faculty on managing loss in a close-knit community. Her Q&A was especially insightful and constructive for our faculty.

Dr. Utley returned later in February on Family Weekend to provide additional training and guidance to both faculty and parents.

Providing Students with Tools to Address Academic Stress

The School recognizes that students today are under significant pressure to do well academically. This will be a focus of the Dean of Campus Well-Being. To date, to better understand these stressors and address them, the School has undertaken two projects, one system-wide and one student-focused.

In order to examine sources of stress and anxiety that come from academic pressures, our Dean of Academics, in partnership with a consultant from Independent School Management, is leading a multi-year assessment of our daily schedule and our academic calendar. The scheduling consultant is a clinical psychologist, who places student well-being at the center of this process.

A workshop this past fall involving many members of the community produced the following statement to guide the work:

We are going to be a school that teaches students to excel, succeed, and believe in themselves without compromising our well-being.

We assert that flourishing is an essential outcome for students who will lead lives of learning, integrity, and high purpose. Part of being the best and seeking the best for all includes well-being. It is not just limited to academic, college, and employment success.

The Science of Well-Being

The School introduced an independent study for seniors in spring of 2023 around the popular Yale course, The Science of Wellbeing with Dr. Laurie Santos. As part of this course, students practiced a number of different happiness tips with the goal of rewiring habits to improve well-being, and will engage in community service or a community-oriented project. Students met twice a week in the evening, where different speakers from the Lawrenceville community led programming focused on life skills and college readiness, as well as opportunities for personal reflection, and once a week with their advisor to discuss the course content and check in on their projects. Students will share their experiences at the Academic Showcase at the conclusion of the term.

Reviewing Emergency Response Protocols

Lawrenceville has taken steps to improve its emergency response protocols. In the summer of 2022, the School provided full key access to all campus buildings to the Lawrence Township police. At the same time, the School completed a major mapping project that gives fire, police, and other first responder agencies access to “critical response maps,” which are collaborative response floor plans that can be used to coordinate emergency response inside buildings and throughout campus. For many years, the School has provided annual CPR training to all faculty; it will be reviewing this training to ensure it reflects best practices.

Anniversary Statement

We experienced the tragic loss of Jack Reid on April 30, 2022 and through great sorrow, came together in meaningful ways as a community. The Special Oversight Committee of the Board of Trustees conducted a five-month review of the circumstances surrounding Jack’s death by suicide, and produced a summary of findings that were shared with the community in December 2022.

April 30, 2023

The Lawrenceville School and William and Elizabeth Reid, parents of Jack Reid, have reached an agreement in the wake of the tragic loss of Jack, a Fourth Former in Dickinson House, who died by suicide on April 30, 2022. Jack was universally regarded as an extremely kind and good-hearted young man, with an unwavering sense of social and civic responsibility and a bright future. We continue to mourn this loss.

As we seek to improve as a community, we have examined our role and take responsibility for what we could have done differently. Lawrenceville’s top priority is the physical, social, and emotional health, safety, and wellbeing of our students. We recognize that in Jack’s case, we fell tragically short of these expectations.

Jack was a victim of bullying and other forms of cruel behavior at Lawrenceville over the course of a year, including in the form of false rumors in person and online. When these behaviors were brought to the attention of the School, there were steps that the School should in hindsight have taken but did not, including the fact that the School did not make a public or private statement that it investigated and found rumors about Jack that were untrue. There also were circumstances in which the involvement of an adult would have made a difference.

In addition, on April 30, when the student who previously had been disciplined for bullying Jack was expelled for an unrelated violation of School rules, the School allowed him to return to Dickinson House largely unsupervised where students gathered, including some who said harsh words about Jack. School administrators did not notify or check on Jack. That night, Jack took his life, telling a friend that he could not go through this again. The School acknowledges that bullying and unkind behavior, and actions taken or not taken by the School, likely contributed to Jack’s death.

In the ensuing months, the School undertook an investigation of the circumstances leading up to Jack's death. Reflecting on those findings, and discussing them with the Reid family, we acknowledge that more should have been done to protect Jack.

Today's multi-faceted settlement with the Reids is aimed at honoring Jack, taking appropriate responsibility, and instituting meaningful changes that will support the School’s aspirations of becoming a model for anti-bullying and student mental health.

Over the past year, we have focused on four broad lines of action: training and educational programs, House culture and healthy socializing, the structure of our Dean of Students office and disciplinary protocols, and general health and wellness. In addition to efforts undertaken over the past 12 months, we are planning the following:

Lawrenceville will contract with a specialist on school bullying to help construct policies and training to identify and effectively address the behaviors that lead to bullying and cyberbullying.
Lawrenceville will contribute to the Jack Reid Foundation, a foundation established by the Reid family focused on education and prevention of bullying.
Lawrenceville will hire a Dean of Campus Wellbeing. This will be an endowed position focused on the variety of student mental health issues educational institutions face.
Lawrenceville faculty, professional staff, and students will participate in trainings and workshops to raise awareness and promote better understanding of adolescent mental health.
Consulting with outside experts as needed, Lawrenceville will continue to review and make improvements to its emergency response protocols and crisis response plans; it similarly will review the safety training it provides to faculty and staff to assure it aligns with best practices.
Lawrenceville will make a recurring gift to a mental health organization to support research and best practices for suicide prevention in school environments.

There is, of course, nothing that will ever make up for the tragedy of losing this promising and beloved young man. But it is the hope of all of us that Jack's memory is honored.